*Subsequent to the release of this blog, Fertility Bridges was fined according to a news report in 2017*
Finding the right egg donor to help you start your family is harder than finding a needle in a haystack. My husband and I use a composition book to keep track of all of our membership accounts and donors of interest, across more than fifteen online agencies. We spent a year methodically searching thousands of profiles, periodically requesting additional information or basic hormone testing on donors of interest. For each site, we had looked at every profile in the database at least once if not multiple times. We had tested eight donors and were still searching when my husband and I inquired about a donor whose screen name I will refer to here as “Donor1”. I had established a rapport with the agency and they were well in versed in our requirements and the personal heartbreak that had led us to that point. We had already tested one donor through the agency and inquired about several others, but none had panned out. Much was at stake with this being the second and final donor cycle we would be able to afford, and there was zero room for error.
Finding the right egg donor to help you start your family is harder than finding a needle in a haystack. My husband and I use a composition book to keep track of all of our membership accounts and donors of interest, across more than fifteen online agencies. We spent a year methodically searching thousands of profiles, periodically requesting additional information or basic hormone testing on donors of interest. For each site, we had looked at every profile in the database at least once if not multiple times. We had tested eight donors and were still searching when my husband and I inquired about a donor whose screen name I will refer to here as “Donor1”. I had established a rapport with the agency and they were well in versed in our requirements and the personal heartbreak that had led us to that point. We had already tested one donor through the agency and inquired about several others, but none had panned out. Much was at stake with this being the second and final donor cycle we would be able to afford, and there was zero room for error.
“Donor1” turned out to be everything we
were looking for. She was marketed on
the fertilitybridgesnetwork.com “NowDonor” page as “available right now”, her
age was ideal for a donor, her features were close to mine, her compensation
request was within budget, her profile was appealing and her basic hormone test
indicated she had a high egg reserve. Although we still had other donor testing
in progress, we decided to proceed toward a match with Donor1. We were absolutely elated that our patience, hard
work and due diligence led us to this decision.
Moreover, we had comfort in the published business practices of Fertility
Bridges. Their stated mission is to
“provide a nurture and loving environment throughout the maze of fertility
options to bring a baby home.” It had
clearly posted on its site that it they offered refunds for certain
circumstances, and its contract indicated the donor not completing the cycle
was one scenario where its refund offer would apply. Also, the matching process outlined on the
Fertility Bridges site was very clear.
In order for the matching process to complete, the donor “must be 100%
committed” and would sign agency agreements, cancellation agreements, and the
legal contract with intended parents. In addition to this, I had asked the
Fertility Bridges match coordinator to speak to Donor1 one last time and
confirm she was serious and committed to the process. The match coordinator assured me that Donor1
was very excited to work with us and she had already signed paperwork,
protecting us if anything should go wrong.
Later
on, confusion arose around Fertility Bridges’ stated application of and use of
terminology of its donor cycle fees. Fertility
Bridges told me that the first fee, commonly referred to in the industry as
“the match fee”, was not being considered to be “the match fee”. Yet, we submitted the check with “Donor1”
name specified in the memo, upon signing the contract to complete the match
with named “Donor1”. This fee was also paid through the “match
coordinator”. Although the contract
stated that the “match fee” was refundable under certain circumstances, Fertility
Bridges claimed what was had paid was a non-refundable “coordination fee”,
despite the fact you are aligned with another Fertility Bridges resource to
start the coordination after the match. The website also indicated “after the
match was paid”, coordination activities would commence. It was difficult for
me to understand how this coordination fee would be aligned to the initial
matching process, and the match fee applied to the coordination process.
The next day when I deposited the checks, Fertility
Bridges started setting the stage for its ultimate declaration that the “donor
was not responsive.” Each day that
passed, Fertility Bridges repeated that “the donor was not responsive.” My
clinic also raised a red flag about the donor’s unresponsiveness as she never
returned the initial questionnaire to start the cycle. But only after our checks had fully cleared did
Fertility Bridges confirm the donor was gone.
Eventually we were told the company accepted her “formal” withdrawal by
text message and since she was young, it couldn’t hold her to the agreement she
had made with Fertility Bridges. Even though it now turned out that she never even
completed all of the agreements to become a donor and had not started the first
step of the cycle, we were told our only option was “re matching” with another
donor. There was no initial match to begin with and only a week had passed, so
how could we be forced to “re” match? Not only had the donor been advertised as
“available right now!” – she was not available now… or ever. Why should we, the
prospective parents, be held responsible, by way of thousands of dollars, for
the agency’s so-called donor? There was
no donor and no match or coordination that had occurred.
As if it had prepared in advance, Fertility
Bridges immediately started (what I think is best described as) “up-selling” other
donors to us by email; these additional donors listed at three times the
compensation price as Donor1, but they did not comport with our own
requirements, about which Fertility Bridges was fully aware. When I escalated
my concerns and requested a refund, I was told only “the Director” could make
this decision and follow-up would be made with her. I escalated several times through
the course of a month but the coordinator would not even disclose the name of
this Director. The Director never contacted us. At one point, I noticed my account
to the website had also become disabled. It was ironic I could be forced to
work with the agency without a user account.
In the meantime, we were offered by email
a new prospective donor who I will refer to as “Donor2” from London, who was not
shown on the website. With our
meticulous donor search now at a grinding halt, we waited anxiously to find out
more about this donor. Although Fertility Bridges committed to provide all of
the details on Donor2 in one week after a scheduled Skype call, the agency was
completely unresponsive. We resorted to emailing the main mailbox after the
individuals that had been interfacing with us did not respond. Finally, our clinic notified us that they had
identified this donor could not be used in the United States due to legal
restrictions. The marketing of this donor as a viable prospect had set us back
weeks. When confronted, Fertility Bridges responded they saw no problem with
their actions and are not responsible for eligibility. They had already kept
our money for no service performed, and now had tried to close a deal which
would have cost us the rest of our donor budget. Once again the agency went
into its recovery mode, inundating us with random donor suggestions by
email. It was clear at this point that there was no
business left to be done with Fertility Bridges.
After pressing for the refund we were told
that the Director, finally identified to us as “Maria”, would be calling me. She never called. We resorted to filing
a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. Although Maria was too busy for
the entire duration of our ordeal to contact us, our Better Business Bureau complaint
was immediately met with a bizarre response from Maria Andrade stating that my
husband and I were trying to illegally buy human tissue and that we were going
to be met with a “multi-million dollar lawsuit” for defaming the company. Maria Andrade went on further to threaten the
Better Business Bureau itself should it make the complaint public. Her response also indicated that we paid for the
“coordination” fee only, not for a specific donor match. However, communication
from Fertility Bridges indicated the coordination was to commence after the
match. The donor screen name was clearly identified and she was specifically referred
to as a donor in the signed match paperwork. The donor screen name was recorded
on the cashed check.
In
writing, I asked what specific “coordination” had been performed for Donor1,
being that she was unresponsive from the time of payment. Initially, I only
received a general explanation about what the fee was for. It was equated to a
retainer fee for an attorney. After a
year we had not found a donor across fifteen agencies, so I wondered what logic
we would have presumably used to put our dream on hold and give up such a large
sum of money to be “coordinated” by a single agency with no prospects. Later on, Maria claimed to have a spreadsheet
of specific coordination activities performed for the unresponsive donor, which
would supposedly substantiate keeping the fee.
Although we were assured the contrary,
“the Director” inevitably never did call us.
She only surfaced to threaten us over numerous emails with a lawsuit by
email for having contacted the Better Business Bureau and “posting a public
review.” None of her emails provided a direct phone number at which we could speak
with her, and she never once personally answered Fertility Bridges’ phone. One email stated we should “move on” and “save
for our children’s education”, “rather than spend it on mediation or defending
ourselves”. Another stated we were
contracted to mediate and “this could cost us $10,000”, which was clearly not
feasible in relation to the donor fees in question. The mediation terms outlined were not focused
on correcting the situation, but on our freedom to speak about what happened to
us….the only thing we had left. We received nothing in exchange for the money
we paid, except for a tremendous amount of stress and lost time. No good could
ever come from feeling victimized and being silent about it.
In shocking turn of events when Public Citizen
became engaged to object to enforcement of the non-disparagement clause of the
contract, Maria stated that “donor” we selected was pregnant. The match we paid
for was a pregnant? This conflicted what the agency had reported about not
being informed and being equally baffled at the turnout of events. Also, a pregnant woman cannot be a donor. At
that rate, she might as well have been a man!
Couples searching to match with an egg
donor have already suffered physically, emotionally and financially. Many have
suffered years of infertility or multiple miscarriages. Many have taken out
loans to enter the donor process. Because these individuals are in situations
of harm and are at greater risk of harm, the underlying operating standard
should be to simply do no further harm. If agencies prey on the anonymity of
the process, Intended Parents can be forced to forgo their privacy rights in
order to seek help. Intended Parents
have a right to take a calculated risk, free of inaccurate information and
unfair practices. It is reasonable to expect these agencies to provide a
legitimate service and operate ethically.
While the egg donor industry is often referred to as uncharted territory, and is generally still unregulated, that doesn’t mean that all other
laws do not apply or ‘anything goes’. Our experience serves as proof that this does
need to be spelled out by Federal Law. Until then we must rely on the truth and
free press to help each other reach our goals. With that being said, does Fertility
Bridges offer the type of “nurturing and loving” environment you want to give
yourself to?
